MARCH 18, 2008

January 11, 2008

I truly welcome the beginning of a new year.  So many

things happened.....so many families hurt.....still hurting.

Our holiday was wonderful although in my heart I was

feeling so very sad for all the families who lost a loved 

one. I was so close to being one of them.  Many times

I play over and over in my head the scans of Sean's 

injury and the comments made by so many doctors....

'you are a lucky boy'....there has to be a guardian 

angel watching over Sean.

We are trying to get some order back into our lives 

and start the new year fresh.....we have been 

spared the pain of loss so we will begin anew and

try to help those who need our support now.  

Sean started a video diary of himself

and the progress of his nerve graph.  

To date, there has been no change but he is 

not discouraged, not in the least.  He studys 

for his actuarial job on a daily basis - he has

applied to ING and AIG but we haven't heard

anything yet.  I still am amazed, and proud,

that anyone can love math that much....yuk!!   

At some point, I may be able to pursuade 

him to put the video diary on the website, 

but for now, my shy guy will just keep it to 

himself.

He's been spending a lot of time with his 

friends lately and its so nice to see him being 

accepted back into the crowd again.  Thanks

again to everyone for respecting our privacy 

and giving Sean time to deal with this in his 

own way.  

Hear, hear to a new year, Jody 

Nothing new on Sean to date.  I do, however, catch 

him staring at his face in the mirror to see if there is 

any movement.  We realize its probably too soon, 

but you can't stop wishing.  As I sympathize with 

many of my friends over the loss of loved ones, I 

truly count my blessings having Sean home for the 

holidays.  Sean studied faithfully everyday since 

October for the upcoming actuary test, but due to the 

move we made mid-November, his study guide was 

misplaced and unfortunately he didn't pass his 

actuary test.  He's OK with it because now he has an 

idea of what questions are going to be asked and 

what type of problems he needs to study.  He has 

applied for a job with ING in West Chester, PA and 

a friend, Lou McCall is submitting his resume to his 

company.  If you know of any actuary jobs available 

in the Philadelphia area, please let me know.  He is 

so ready to get to work.  Hopefully, you had a 

chance to see the Flyers (hockey) presentation on 

youtube.  I was so overwhelmed with happiness for 

Sean that I cried, especially when the entire 

Wachovia center stood up for him.  They treated us 

like celebrities and we had sooooo much fun.  After 

the game Sean went down to the locker room and 

met with some of the players.  He had a great time.  

Again, thank you so very much for your support and 

have a SUPER WONDERFUL HOLIDAY.  

oxoxox Jody 

 Sean's Progress Report: 10-15-2007

WE ARE HOME!!  Hurray!!  No offense to  New 

York City, but living with a 23 yr. Old adult male....I 

love my kid, but WHEW, we  definitely needed some 

space.  Anyway I've  tried to start this message to you 

several times  but it seems to be very 

bittersweet.....kind of  like the end of a journey with 

all of you.  I may  not know all of you, but I know 

that if I needed  you, you were there.  For those who 

don't have  time right now for details, SEAN IS A O 

K!!  
 
 

On Monday, I left him around 7:30 a.m. and  after 

finishing my 3rd novel (that's right, I read  3 books 

since arriving in NY) around 3:30 they  told me Sean 

was done.  It took until 5 pm  before I was allowed in 

recovery.  I walked up  and said, "OMG you look 

great, Sean".   Amazingly the cuts they made on both 

sides of  his face ran right in front of his ear, down 

under  his ear lobe, up behind his ear and down his 

 neck about 2".  I don't know what I was really 

 expecting to see, but my thought was way  worse 

than reality.  He stayed in recovery for  about 2 

hours, then we went to "Roosevelt  14B" which is the 

exclusive "hotel-like" floor  where a family member 

can actually stay in the  room with the patient.  They 

originally were  going to keep him in ICU for the 

night, but  apparently they were full and the doctor 

knew I  would be with him to oversee the situation.  

 After playing nursemaid for 5 days, my hat is  off to 

all nurses.....and you know what....you  can have that job, 

I'll stay with real estate.  Sean  was quite 

uncomfortable the entire time....he  had drains 

behind his ears and on the back of  his leg and they 

didn't remove them until  Thursday afternoon, so 

basically Sean laid in a  prone position for 4 days.  

Because of the  drains he couldn't walk very easily 

even though  physically therapy was in the day after 

surgery.   What we didn't expect was the pain he felt 

in  his leg.  He has counted 50 staples up the back  of 

his left leg.  For those who don't know, the  Dr. 

removed the nerve in his leg to use in his  face.  The 

original plan was to stay in a hotel  suite generously 

donated to us by Kim  P.(THANKS SO MUCH 

KIM), surgery would  have been Thursday then we 

would have taken  Sean out of the hospital to 

recooperate in the  hotel and come home on 

Tuesday.  The plan  was great.  Well you know what 

they say about  the 'best laid plans'.  Having the 

surgery on  Monday just threw everything out of 

wack and  unfortunately we had to cancel the Flyers 

 Opening Night game that we were invited to.  It  was 

really great that I could stay with Sean at  the 

hospital and I know now that there is no  way I 

would have been comfortable taking him  back to the 

hotel. Roosevelt 14B was very nice and we had great 

 food and 'tea time' around 3 pm everyday, and  once 

again, we were living for hockey....any  hockey game 

would do.  If you remember,  hockey is what kept 

Sean from going totally  stir-crazy back in Virginia.  

Everyday, we  would start with 'do you think we can 

go home  tomorrow?' and 'is there a game on 

tonight?'   We wanted to get home, but we also didn't 

 want to have to drive back up to get stitches  out.  

They did take the stitches out on Friday  and because 

Sean was progressing  quickly.....from a walker to 

crutches, they said  he could leave on Friday instead 

of Saturday.   Dr. Costantino did a wonderful job 

with the help of Dr. Heltzig, however the success of 

this  procedure is not immediate.   It will take 

approximately 3 weeks for his leg to  heal fully and 

we may not see any results from  the surgery for 

possibly a year.  I promise to  update you with 

anything exciting, but I will  most likely try to get 

back into 'my groove' and  Sean will be working 

toward taking his  actuarial test and hopefully 

getting a job come  the beginning of the year.   I 

thank everyone,  again, for they're support, prayers 

and warm  wishes.  If you would like to contact me 

 personally, feel free to do so at 

 jodymcquade@hotmail.com.  Live for the day and if 

it feels right, do it!! 

OXOXOX Jody

 Sean's Progress Report: 10-07-2007

For those anxiously awaiting the results of the 
operation.....there has been a change in plans.
Originally scheduled for Thursday, we were bumped
because Dr. C. had to assist with a patient with
a brain tumor and that surgery was taking longer
than expected.  Sean was rescheduled for Friday
@ 1 pm.  So Thursday from 9 until 1 we waited,
then Friday from 9:30 to 2 we waited.....today
the operating room was not available at the Dr's
requested time & we could have waited but it was
getting late, and the Dr's preferred O.R. team 
wouldn't be available after 3 pm.....so we are 
waiting until 7:30 a.m. Monday.  Remember, both 
days Sean was fasting from the night before & we
all didn't eat until after we got done waiting.
Sean will definitely make up for that this week-
end, I'm sure.

I know how you feel.  But rest assured Sean was
quick with his decision to wait until Monday... 
he felt the odds were against him to do it today..
not that anything would have happened, but we all
feel better waiting until Monday.  There's only
one problem now, opening night @ the Flyers game,
which we were invited to go, may have to be
cancelled.  We'll just have to wait & see.  It's
not that he can't go, its just that his leg will
have stitches and his face will be stitched and
black & blue...not going to be a pretty site, plus
I'm sure he will want to whoop & holler for his
favorite hockey team, so he'd rather wait....we'll
see.

Update you on Monday....Jody

 Sean's Progress Report: 10-02-2007

We are getting ready to leave for NYC and before I forget, which
I personally will never do, I want to thank BOTTO'S ITALIAN LINE
RESTAURANT, Henry, Robert and the entire Botto family for the very
generous donation to Sean.  We had a an extremely delicious dinner
and Sean had the biggest steak you can fit on a plate....ate the
whole thing!  Thank you so very much.
 
I don't usually single out certain people, because I just couldn't
possibly thank everyone who has been a part of our lives these
past 6 months without missing someone, but this one person, Kim
Pallies, whom I have never met, has managed to arrange our entire
stay during the surgery in NYC.  I will be thanking her for the
rest of my life for this extreme over-the-top contribution to make
our lives easier, just one less thing I had to worry about, not
to mention the financial burden this would have been.  Thank you
so very much, Kim.
 
Just wanted to get this in before I go.  I will be back on-line
once the surgery is over.....or possibly something else that may
happen...Dr. Constantino has requested a last minute consultation.
I won't even try to guess what this is about.
 
Check back with me soon, Jody 

 Sean's Progress Report: 9-27-2007
To sue or not to sue....that is the question.
As I slowly progress through the reading of 
the entire report from the Virginia Tech 
review panel (if you want a copy just let me
know), I am constantly saying to myself 'they
should have and could have done it different'.
My daughter goes to Rowan University and they
had a fire drill the other day and sent everyone
a text message and e-mail so they wouldn't be
upset if they heard sirens or whatever.
  My
older son is also in college.  You may have
guessed by now.....I'm on 'high alert' and my
anxiety level is peaking.  Honestly, if a
nuclear power plant can sound a siren of danger
throughout a 5 mile radius in seconds, how is
it that we can't notify students of impending
danger, whether real or suspected.
 
Sean and I occasionally talk about a lawsuit
and he has no real desire to sue anybody, just
so long as his medical bills are covered and,
at this point, no one is committing to that
resolve. I don't really care who did or didn’t
do something - the report shows that there were
mistakes made.....all I know is that these kids
were hurt or killed on their watch and they
should be responsible to do whatever it takes.
 
You know, I start everyday saying that I'm going
to do something for myself, and yet here I am... 
I just can't seem to find time to take away from
this 'new life' that we have been thrown into.
Its not that I'm obsessed or anything about the
tragedy, its that I need to be proactive about
handling things....to make sure that he is 
getting the best that I can provide....no
matter what that is.  I have a lot of support
with family and friends, together with my new
friends born from tragedy....it just amazes me
the amount of energy and time this consumes.
To top it off, since the EMG came back negative
Sean wants to get the facial surgery over with
- its scheduled for October 4th – therefore we
are running around getting pre-op testing, chest
x-ray, blood tests, etc. and no more Sam Adams
'Octoberfest' after this weekend!
 
I actually had the 'coconuts' to ask ABC for a
Trip to Disney for all of the students and
families that participated in the interview.
In my mostly jumbled mind, I was thinking that
Superbowl winners get to go to Disney, shouldn't
these kids 'winners of life' go to Disney.
In my previous life, I would never have said
something like that, but lately I just seem to
say what's on my mind....not an endearing
quality sometimes.
 
Jeeze, I sound like a madwoman... I'm not... 
really. Just love my kids, that's all.
 
I will update you after surgery.
 
OXOX Jody 

Sean's Progress Report: 9-10-2007

Its been a very anxious week since I last
updated you.  As I mentioned  Thursday was the 
EMG (electromyogram) which registers 
muscle/nerve activity  with acupuncture-like 
needles attached to a machine.  I know this 
sounds  weird but if the machine registers no 
sound then the nerve & corresponding  muscles 
are working correctly.....if you hear rain 
drop-like sounds, then  the nerve/muscle is 
abnormal.....unfortunately we heard rain drops.  
The  doctor tested several places and all 
registered the same sound.  Friday we  met Dr. 
Swartz at Wills Eye Hospital and had the gold 
weight sewn into his  eyelid.  I have to tell 
you, both Morgan and I had a very long moment 
of  fear seeing Sean struggle back from 
anesthesia.  But once he was awake, he  again 
became so very funny.  He has a very quick and 
clever wit about him  when hes semi-conscience 
and with no inhibition.  He "highly recommended  
(that the nurse have) a few Octoberfest (Samuel 
Adams) beers while watching  the Eagles 
game.....he wouldnt be disappointed".  When the 
nurse asked Sean  what he studied in school and 
found out he was a math major he asked Sean  
how a baseball field is mathematically 
constructed.  He hesitated for a  split-second 
and then went into a long dissertation about 
the configuration  of a baseball field.  
Amazing!  
 
Today is Sunday and with the cold 
compresses and rest his eye lid looks good  ( I 
guess as good as an eyelid can look considering 
his got this hunk of  metal in it).  There's 
just a little bit of swelling so we can't 
really tell  if its working as we 
anticipate....but we'll find out soon enough.
  
Now to tell Dr. Constantino the EMG wasn't 
positive.....which means that we  have to start 
planning for the nerve graph face cross over 
operation.  My  heart fills with dread just 
typing those words, so I have to tell myself  
'he's just getting a face lift at age 23'.  
He's been through so much I just  pray everyday 
that the steps we take now payoff in the 
future.  
 
Sean is looking forward to the future.  
He was working on his resume and is  actively 
trying to contact Watson Wyatt who he briefly 
spoke with back in  March.  I have many good 
friends helping me to contact companies who 
have  actuary openings.  I think that if Sean 
can get a few interviews in before  the 
operation, he will have some good feelings of 
hope for the future.  
 
I realize and hear many 
times that its very hard for people to imagine 
what  we are going through.  I, too, can't 
believe all that is involved with this  most 
days - my home office, where Ryan has a bed, 
looks like a tornado  went through.....but I 
know where everything is.....amazing!
 
Thanks again for staying in touch with us.. Jody

Sean's Progress Report: 8-30-2007

Unfortunately we've been back to the eye doctor.. 
the abrasion opened up again.  Dr. Heisman 
referred us to a cornia specialist, Dr. Ringel,
whom we've seen several times in the last week.
He put a contact on his eye to act as a Band-Aid
..it worked.  In less than a week the abrasion is 
healed.  So to further help protect  his eye, we
are seeing another eye surgeon to have a gold
weight sewn into his eyelid.  We met with Dr.
Swartz who is an associate of Wills Eye Hospital
and are going through with the surgery on his
eyelid.  The weight, which is designed like a
curved plate about 1/4 inch wide (I know its 
kinda big) will be sewn into a pocket the doctor
will created in his eyelid.  Gravity will pull
the eyelid down when Sean conscientiously closes
his eye.  It doesn't work if he just blinks...
he has to actually relax the muscle that holds
the eyelid up.  The main reason Sean wants to do
this is because the nerve graph surgery may take
another 6+ months to actually work and his eye
will be exposed that much longer if he doesn't
do this now.  And, of course, it can be reversed.
 
Even though the surgery is scheduled for Sept.7
and the nerve graph for sometime later this 
month, I still think of the dream that Laurie
Ellis had of Sean smiling... with his whole face,
not just half.  After today, that might just
happen sooner than we think.  He's scheduled for
an EMG (electromyogram)(sp?) to see if the nerves
and muscles are responding in any way. 
 
If they are...well I don't know what will happen
next, but it will be a happy day.
 
Gotta have hope!!  OXOX Jody

Sean's Progress Report: 8-19-2007 
 
Sean and I have been at Virginia Tech
since Thursday night getting ready for
the ABC interview.....and thats the
last time I saw him.....until yesterday, 
Saturday.  It OK because I really
think being here has helped Sean have
a more normal end to his college years.
I wasn't sure how we would feel coming
back here but after driving around, I
understand, once again how truly awesome
this place is. I visited all the places
I went to throughout the years Sean was
here and its even better than it was. 
The buildings made of Hokie stone, the
stadium, the drill field... they are all
so impressive.
 
  There's an inspirational 'feeling' that
makes you really want to go to college
here.
 
The interview was held off campus at a
gorgeous B&B called Rockwood Manor in
Dublin, VA (540-674-1328). Sara, her
husband and son, run the B&B and they 
made our day so very special.  Bob
Woodruff, Christine, Meena, Jim and all
the crew from ABC did a great job making
the kids feel comfortable and unpressured.
 
The interview, which will air on ABC 
Monday evening at 6:30, pm is a tiny... 
a very tiny... glimpse into what the
injured students have had to endure and
what they anticipate for the future. Little
pieces of the interview might be aired on
GMA Monday morning and there may even be
pieces on Sunday am & pm. I purposely tried
to hide and did not participate in the 
parent interview... then I heard chicken
sounds coming from Bob.
 
It was very heartwarming to see all the
students laughing and crying and hugging.
These kids didn't ask for the hand they were
dealt, but they are all so intelligent, and
they handled themselves so very well, I'm
sure they will all end up winners.  As for
me, I truly welcome the new friendships
that have begun today.  Putting a face with
the names has made such a difference. The
faces you will see in the interview are our
kids... just a few of the many who had to
witness this tragic event and for most, will
re-live it many times over in the future.
 
As they say, "Time heals all wounds" but
the scars will remain.
 
I wish them all the best and then some more!
 Jody

 Sean's Progress Report: 8-16-2007

I had to trash the previous draft simply because
I was starting to rant and rave and there is too
much good news to be depressed today.
  As you
may know, we went to NYC on Tuesday (jeeze I 
hate getting caught in all that traffic!)  
 
We met with Dr. Bovino who we asked to evaluate
Sean’s jaw joint and give us the "worst case
scenario" on what he plans to do during surgery.
 
He spent a lot of time poking and probing then
After consulting with Dr. Constantino, decided
there was no need to replace the jaw joint.  
WHAT?  you may ask... so did I.  The doc said
that most patients need replacement of this 
joint because of the lack of motion and the
fact that Sean can open and move his mouth
considerably more than they had anticipated... 
well, there's no need for that surgery. HURRAY!  
 
Then we met with Dr. Constantino, again, who will
be doing the nerve replacement surgery.  After
looking at Sean's xrays again, he turns around
and says "boy, you are so lucky to be alive". 
It’s truly a miracle... the path the bullet was 
on... well we'll not talk about that.   So the
doc just sits there looking over Sean's face and
says "I don't think I have to go into your 
'brain case' (aka skull) to attach the nerve".
Again, WHAT? you may ask....and I did, again.  
He said that attaching the 'trunk' of the nerve
back together wouldn't guarantee optimal results.
The best way is to do the face-crossover... 
Attaching each individual nerve with the 
identical nerve on the opposite side.  Doc said
it’s like an 8 - 10 hour surgery and he would
definitely need to eat his Wheaties that day!!
The downside... it may still take 6 months to
know if it actually worked.  
 
All in all it was a good day and there not this
dread hanging over his head worry about surgery.
The face-crossover is more like 'face lift 
surgery'. People do that every day.  He'll 
probably schedule that sometime in September.
 
ABC did film a bit of the doctors visit so you
may see it soon along with the injured student
Interview with Bob Woodruff coming up probably
on August 20th.
 Jody

Sean's Progress Report: 8-9-2007
 
Last night was, again, one of those sleepless
nights where my mind just wanders back to the
beginning......when our nice quiet little world
changed. 
        I pretty much have it down now and I race 
through all the events, remembering little things
that I had forgotten.  But mostly, I dwell on the 
gifts of the heart that have been presented to us
over this period of time and are still coming our
way.  
        Yesterday, a fellow realtor from Virginia 
(that I don't know personally), who has been 
following Sean's progress, remembered that Sean
liked Coney Island hotdogs.  UPS arrived at my 
office with a present for Sean.....dry iced Coney
Island Hot Dogs.  We sat around at dinner and had
a grand time eating hot dogs and remembering our
trips back and forth to the hospital and sneaking
Coney Dogs in.  We tried not to let Sean know we
had them cause his mouth was wired and he couldn't
eat, but he sure could smell them!
        Sean and I will be back in NYC soon for a
visit with the maxofacial surgeon that will be 
working on replacing his TMJ (jaw joint).  He's 
having a bit of trouble chewing correctly because
the muscles are lax and the joint isn't keeping 
his jaw in line.  He's very much into eating fish
these days since it's easy to chew and he feels
the "brain" food is good for helping to restore
his damaged nerves.  Dr. Harden from Virginia,
told Sean it could take up to 6 months for nerves
to regenerate, so before the nerve replacement
surgery, which we are preparing for and hope
doesn't have to happen, Sean will continue to eat
healthy with the hope that he can heal himself.
He does, however, like to indulge on Philly Soft
Pretzels these days.... or is it just me that
wants just a little bite?
 
Sean has started his own Chess Club in Mullica
Hill.Its only once a week but we have been 
having a great time and when players are late,
I get a detailed lesson on correctly placing 
my pieces. I'm by no means a good chess player,
but I can hold my own.....unless Sean's just 
giving 'ol mom a break....probably the latter.
 
I still drive Sean around to wherever he needs
to go since we sold his car, but his Grand-
father is spending a lot of time working on 
picking out just the right one when the time 
comes.  Sean is very adamant about getting
a vehicle that has good gas mileage.  He's 
always cutting me up about my Ford Truck, 
which he has nicknamed "the tank".  Can't fault
"the tank" too much....it got me down to Sean,
through rain, and wind and all that mother 
nature threw my way that day.
 
Keep you eye on the news August 19 -21st. I
Don't really know when it will air, but you 
will see Sean and his fellow students in an 
exclusive interview with Bob Woodruff of ABC.
Bob says he's going to get me on camera too,
but we'll see about that!
 
Jody

  Sean's Progress Report: 7-30-2007
 This weekend had all of us smiling for a change.
Thanks to Philadelphia's  IBEW Local 98, Sean
was invited to attend a Phillies baseball game
and as a  guest of honor, threw out a pitch to
the Philly Phanatic.  He really enjoyed  himself
and so did we.  
 
We just got back from a meeting in Trenton, NJ
with Ken Feinberg.  Mr.  Feinberg was appointed
to find out from the families of the deceased &  
injured, just how we feel about distribution of 
the Hokie Fund.  The meeting  did touch....
deeply & emotionally, I might add....on the 
disappointment of  how things were handled 
from the very begining. Mr. Feinberg did make
notations about how we felt, but my feeling 
is he already knows what they  intend to do 
and is just humoring us with the meeting.  It 
was even over  exactly when it  was scheduled 
to be over....how ironic!  Our family has talked 
about what we expect should happen, but after 
today I don't believe  that Virginia Tech, which 
is a state college, or the State of Virginia will  
be helping us with our needs ....we're on our own.  
 
Tomorrow Sean goes back to the eye doctor and 
hopefully she will give us  good news.  He has 
been faithfully applying the drops every hour for 
almost  3 weeks straight.  Its been difficult, 
but he's a very good patient.  He may  have 
scarring on the cornia but hopefully the 
abrasion is healed.  
 
Wednesday we will have a  celebration.  Sean will
be 23 yrs. old and it will truly be a celebration
of  life.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEAN. 
Thanks for visiting, until next time...
Jody 

 Sean's Progress Report: 7-12-2007
Is it already the middle of summer!!  I can't 

believe how time flies.  Come Monday it will 

be 3 months since we began the long road to 

recovery.  Mostly everything has been fine 

since the angiogram came back OK.  We decided 

to  take a short trip to the beach and thanks 

to Joe Sheppard and his assistant,  Amy, we 

had a really good time.  

It wasn't until we returned that we encountered 

a "bump in the road"....well maybe not a bump 

but a bolder!

Inadvertently, Sean must have gotten something 

in his eye which caused a  severe abrasion (cut) 

on his cornea.  I have never in my life seen an 

eye  soooooo red.  A person with sensation and 

feeling would have felt severe  pain upon getting 

the cut, but Sean feels nothing so we didn't 

know that  anything was wrong.  We have been 

to the eye doctor everyday for the past 10  days.

Sean also gave in to my desire for him to have 

prescription  sunglasses....I had to fight with 

him over it because "Mr. Bargain Hunter"  didn't 

want me to spend the money.  I told him it was 

to protect his eye  from sun, wind,debris..maybe 

it can't protect eye but reduce the chances  for 

a problem.  We take so many things for granted 

with our eyes....Sean  doesn't even squint when 

the suns too bright....he can't.  Anyway, the

sunglasses look really cool on him and it hides 

his eye so I think he feels  better about going 

out.  Finally on Tuesday, Dr. Heisman said she 

felt the  abrasion was getting better.  It's 

taking longer than normal only because  the 

"healing" tears that are distributed when we 

blink....well we know that  doesn't work....yet.

I have some other stuff to tell you..won't be 
long. 

Jody